The Unwanted Guest |
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Doesn’t it always seem that the unwanted guest at a party ALWAYS seems to show up right on time? They don’t offer anything positive and only bring stress. For me? That unwanted guest is AF. She showed up right on time this month….sucks!
This month she played a different trick. This month showed up with no pomp and circumstance. This month she showed no symptoms at all. As you know, I believe all early pregnancy symptoms are myths. So when I found myself feeling nothing, I allowed myself some hope. That was my mistake. I wasn’t bloated, I didn’t have cramping, my boobs didn’t hurt…NOTHING! Maybe NO symptoms IS the symptom!!! Ummm NO! Just another way to mess with my mind. I did what I promised myself I wouldn’t do and tested on Monday. AF was due Tuesday, so when it was a BFN I still felt some hope. I am not sure why I allow myself to feel hope anymore. Even when I try to tell myself not to hope…I still find myself thinking that this time could be it. But why isn’t it “IT”? I mean how many times can a couple baby dance and still have it not work? I really felt we covered all of our bases…I really felt like we did all we could. But it just wasn’t enough. So month 5 has come and gone and we are on to month 6. The sixth month has a bit of significance because when I first told my doctor we wanted to start TTC he told me that on AVERAGE it takes 6 months. I’m not sure if he said that to make me not worry if it doesn’t happen right away, or if the average is really 6 months. But either way we are at that point. So now I am hoping to be average….I just hope it doesn’t go beyond that. So I am sad and frustrated… lost and confused. As with each month before I am left to wonder what my path is supposed to be. But I don’t allow myself to dwell too long on what “isn’t.” We must move on and figure out what comes next….Month #6 here we come! Comments (5)
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... I'm sorry. I don't know if it ever gets easier to be visited by that dreaded AF. But I am hopeful that with a new cycle comes the chance that it is the "one." Thinking of you - hang in there!! |
Holly @ Ready2Bmom
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... I'm so sorry that AF showed up this month, but this new cycle could be the one! |
QuestForBabyHang
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... I am beyond sorry sweetie, but this next cycle is the one!!! Stay positive and keep your head up!! *hugs* -Roxanne |
Lisa982006
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... Ughhh Jen, Im so sorry!!! I was just thinking of you today!! I checked the boards to see if you posted any good news... Don't give up!! I know very well it is hard to stay positive but it WILL HAPPEN |
