Taking Time to Think |
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This past weekend I spent 48 hours in silence—well, almost. I signed up for a women’s retreat titled, “Making Friends With Time.” I had a lot of interesting responses when I told people I was going. “Make sure you still like men when you come back.” “Be careful you don’t get brainwashed.” I will admit this a very “crunchy” thing for me to do, and it is off the grid of normal activities for most people. Yet, it is unfortunate that apparently we don’t value contemplation time. Let’s face it. In our daily lives we don’t get much quality thinking time—maybe a hike in the woods or a long shower. We live in a time where we are constantly bombarded by 140 character messages—on our computers, on our phones. Even for the retreat, I struggled to put my Blackberry away—though that was mainly to keep in touch with the husband. I did manage, however, to leave the laptop in the bag and not use the wi-fi. In fact, this blog is being written by hand for later transcription. I chose this particular time to come to the retreat because, as many of you know, I am at a decision point for what is next in our fertility journey. I brought along books on the egg donation process, plus the retreat was filled with exercises designed to pull your thoughts out of the inner regions of your brain (and your heart). I left the weekend with some clarity about what is next, but am I going to share? Not yet. We often forget that our fertility journey is a partnership. It should never be about making the husband go along with the plan. If the ultimate goal is raising a happy, secure child, then both partners need to be in agreement about the who, how, and why of it all. I haven’t had a chance yet to sit down with the husband. Most of what I have to say won’t be new, but I need to hear from him that he wants it, too. In my personal blog, www.ttcnow.com, I will detail out more about my retreat experience. I would really like to encourage anyone who is at the crossroads of that next step to think about carving out some quiet time. It doesn’t have to be a formal retreat, it can be as simple as going to the local library for a few hours to finding a cabin in the mountains to hide from the world. This process makes us feel so time pressured. The clinics never help with that as they always ask if you are ready to start again—right after they deliver your BFN news. We pressure ourselves because we are afraid of missing the golden egg. Yet, the reality is that there is a child who is meant to be in your family—and he/she will show up when the time is right. Give yourself the gift of thinking time, you won’t regret it. Comments (3)
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wishing you the best of luck Thanks so much for sharing your journey. I too am on the hamster wheel of IF treatments and never take any time to pause. I'm actually taking this Thursday off work just to do that very thing.....carve out some time to breath and think and figure out those next steps. Best of luck on whatever path you choose to take to reach your goal of Motherhood. |
Egg Donors
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Egg Donation - Egg Donor - Egg Donors - Surrogacy in India Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up! |
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