Husband Drama |
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Ok now let’s be honest. Husbands—Can’t live with them, can’t live without them. Luckily for me, most of the time I’m don’t fall into the latter category. But I must admit—it still drives me a little crazy seeing the way he squirms when I say the word “baby.” Now I normally don’t throw him under the bus in my blog posts, but this topic was bound to come up sometime. I admit it. There are a few things that are keeping me from starting to try to have a baby right this moment. For one—I want to get a few cavities filled first (which I have an appointment for next week) and two—My husband. I’m not going to put all the blame on him though. The past year or so I’ve been back and forth on my baby desires too, but beginning of this year I started to feel consistently more good about it than bad, and have been trying to work out a timeline with him since then. He—Like most men has the same worries: Money, how he’ll be able to support a family, and feeling unqualified. I know he’s excited to have kids, and we have been married long enough to know that it’s not all going to be easy. One thing that’s been hard for me to get across is the fact that we could be trying for a long time before we actually get pregnant. Just because we start trying now doesn’t mean it’ll happen next month—Which I don’t think he really realizes. There are a few things that have worked for us in compromising on a timeline. For a while we would talk about it but I would say I was ready or kids, he would say he wasn’t and knowing we had a difference in goals would make the conversation turn into an argument. After a while he sat me down and told me that the topic of kids was just turning into a negative connotation because it would always end up in disagreement (and tears on my part). He told me that if instead of always talking about the “when” we talked about the things we look forward to with kids, he’d probably feel better about it. Well, I took his advice, and stopped bringing up the timing topic, but focused on the positives and goals, and things turned around very quickly. Then one day I got the courage to bring up the “when” topic, which use to go something like: “I want a baby” “Now?” “Well not today, it takes at least nine months to make at best.” “Well I don’t want a kid right now.” (tears) …To saying that I wanted to set a goal—It could always be adjusted, but a goal that we could work toward together, and have in the back of our minds. He said December, I said August, and we compromised on September. Now I’m not saying this plan is foolproof. The other day he tried to say we agreed on October, but I was quick to correct him. What started as a touchy subject has turned into something we’re both looking forward to, and I hope we can continue to solve problems this way. Have you and your husband always been on the same page? What have you done to help with this? Still having a hard time getting him to see where you’re coming from? |
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