My Worst Day

Just a warning to those with weak stomachs you might not want to read this post.

Wednesday started as many days did last week, with a visit to the bathroom to vomit. I also went in to work for a couple of hours to help with a few things and to decide what Doug needed to help me with this coming Monday. We had to take everything off the walls in my school at the end of the year because they were painting. So, everything in my classroom is boxed up. Obviously I can’t move anything heavy now so I need a helper to set up my classroom.

After work, I was meeting a friend to walk around the mall. While I was waiting for her to show up, my OB’s office called. I was surprised, but I was even more surprised with what they had to say. The woman on the phone said one of my tests came back “positive.” I thought this was odd since I have never had any issues like that in the obstetrical department, so I asked a few more questions and received some terse and uncomfortable answers in return. Just to be clear, BB is fine and remains fine regardless of this information.

I am really open about my infertility struggles but sometimes, like now, I feel like there are things that the whole world doesn’t need to know. Let’s just leave it as a disturbing test result and some insinuation on the part of the OB’s office that made me really uncomfortable. Needless to say, this news required adding some medication that I was now going to have to try and keep down in between my bouts of nausea.

I may never know why I received this unpleasant test result but I have given a bit of thought as to what may have happened. Scenario #1 is that Doug had this before we met and we have both had it for years undetected. I think this is very unlikely because I would have had other IF issues if that were true. Scenario #2 relates to the Pap test I had back in March with a new doctor whose office, I thought, was dirty and understaffed that day. It is possible that the equipment used wasn’t properly cleaned or sterilized before it was used on me – scary thought. Scenario #3 is as simple as a false positive. I hate to think that there are mix-ups with lab results but I understand that this does happen. My money is on Scenario #2 or #3. At this point I want to ask my OB’s office to re-test to disprove the false positive result but if I am still positive, I guess I will never know how it happened.

After all of this drama, Doug and I went to dinner. Before dinner I did some binge eating because I was really upset. When I went to pick up my meds the first time, the prescription wasn’t ready. So before Doug and I sat down to eat, I went to the bathroom and vomited again. When I started eating dinner, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to take my meds with the meal or with lunch the next day. I figured that since I was feeling good at that moment, I might as well get it out of the way. I popped the pills and ate a little bit more. Within 20 minutes, I was overcome with nausea.

I left the dinner table and went outside to sit on a bench. I felt better for a few minutes but the nausea didn’t completely go away. When Doug was done with dinner, he met me outside and we drove home. We were about 5 minutes from home, waiting at a light, and I knew I was going to lose it. I opened the car door and vomited. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Doug covering his ears.

I am so glad that horrible day is over but I still have the questions of how I ended up with this or if I even have it. I also wonder if I need to take the new meds again.

For those of you who are wondering how the pregnancy is going otherwise, I would say great. While lying on the couch this morning I swear I could hear BB’s heartbeat. Most likely it was my own but I believe it was BB’s just telling me that s/he is doing great.